Week Two Live Commentary

When available, I will be providing live commentary during Sunday football for the Fuck Yo Couch league.  Hopefully, some other owners will join me not only for a little smack talk, but also some insightful discussions about all the teams in the FYCL.

Please check back for updates regularly.  They won't be individual blog posts, just added to the top.

5:15pm:  Eight Takeaways for the League from Today's early games.

01.  Team Faggy Vampire Kids - Never underestimate the bad play-calling of Green Bay Coach Mike McCarthy.

Your star WR Greg Jennings has the Bust of the Week all but sewn up for Week Two, but you have to be disappointed in Coach McCarthy for not throwing more options at Jennings throughout the loss to the Cincinnati Bengals.  Jennings was looking like a breakout receiver early this season, but now more teams will throw double-coverage on him and McCarthy will get scared.

02.  Team Votto - Much better management of your roster this week, but no faith in RBs?

It seems that my post about Team Votto's lack of management skills may have lit a fire under the owner this week.  He made some moves during the week, produced a much tighter starting roster, and didn't leave many points on the bench - the result was a win and a near-perfect week of managing.  The only thing Votto has to think about is maybe moving away from his WRs and playing some of his more explosive RBs (kind of like Reggie Bush).  He's got some depth at WR, so trade bait for RBs might be in the future for Team Votto.

03.  Team Sparkle - Well-constructed roster and a well-deserved win (Almost)

Out of all the teams, Team Sparkle really impressed me early today.  Keeping RB DeSean Jackson on the starting roster to get his 22-points was a stroke of genius after his lackluster last week.  Tight, smart managing of current players made this a winning team this week.

04/05.  The Philly Fakeouts/Team Minch - Too close to call right now - sorry, guys.

Can't say much right now, except that you guys (for better or worse) have made a great game out of what could have been a lopsided affair.  Good luck in the next couple of results.

06.  Argh! Not The Bees! - Tom Brady will not be reliable this season

This isn't 2007, and Tom Brady is not an automatic points machine.  The Patriots are reeling from injuries, Randy Moss can't be in five places at once, and your star QB is a shell of his former self.  He is uncomfortable in the pocket and he can't seem to get any O-line support.  Time to seriously think about reaching out and picking up a solid backup for the Brady/McNabb combination.

07.  Rob's Team - Your loss could have been massive - be thankful for Frank Gore

RB Frank Gore has taken your potentially embarrassing loss to a last place Donkey Chain 4 Life and made it at least an honorable shaming.  But beyond Gore, your RBs have been pretty abysmal - it might be time to make some significant moves to pick up an up-and-coming, young RB in exchange for your deep WR position.

08.  Donkey Chain 4 Life - You got really lucky, this won't happen every week

Don't bet everything on RB Chris Johnson - you are still a team that needs some depth and experience.  If you go up against a team like Faggy Vampire Kids or Sparkle, you will still get stomped with a single 55-point performance.  You need to make some moves, so act accordingly.

Okay thanks for sticking with me throughout the day.  Enjoy the rest of the games this Sunday night!

5:00pm:  A little news update from Nick, and then I'll be posting my last update until after the Dallas/New York game.

"Frank Gore on his way to a career day, 206 with 2 TDs for Rob's Team. He could save the game for Rob's Team."

Any other match-up and these numbers would guarantee a win, but we all need to remember that Donkey Chain 4 Life had RB Chris Johnson on their side with a huge 55-point day.  Makes it more interesting than the blowout I thought it had turned into.

4:30pm:  We will likely have a new winner of the most points left on the bench record - Rob Pakulski of Rob's Team, as they have settled for a whopping 105 points off the field.  Wow.  Thanks for bringing that to my attention, Nick.

"Rob's Team Bench may break my number...I didn't add it up, he may already have.  Yeah 105. That's a lot of points."

"So I didn't realize the Bears had an "Adrian Peterson"...it must suck to be that guy."

At least he doesn't have to play with Brett Favre. ;)

4:00pm:  Matthew Ruud is already calling WR Greg Jennings as bust of the week, and he just might be, but we won't know that until Tuesday.

"Yeah, Greg Jennings has to be the bust of the week. Goose egg!"

Hopefully for Matt, there are some big players still out there with low numbers (WR Terrell Owens and RB Willie Parker)

3:55pm: Terrible end to the Packers/Bengals game.  Horrible play-calling on behalf of Mike McCarthy, and god-awful officiating.  But anyway, the 4:00 games are underway and there are couple of game updates for FYCL:

Donkey Chain 4 Life @ Rob's Team (96-79): Even though it looks close right now, Donkey Chain has not played their big star, QB Peyton Manning.  The biggest surprise is the worst team from last week putting in one of the best performances at the start of Week Two.  Even though RB Frank Gore (Rob's Team) is looking real good in the 49ers game, I still think Donkey Chain 4 Life has the edge in this match-up.

Team Faggy Vampire Kids @ Team Sparkle (71-115): Wow.  I called this one completely wrong, but I did not see the big day by RB DeSean Jackson coming.  This match-up is all but over, and Team Sparkle shocks the number one team in the Power Rankings in Week Two.  Amazing performances on Sparkle's side of the ball, and some disappointing ones on the other side (WR Greg Jennings - I blame this on McCarthy and Rodgers though).

Team Minch @ The Philly Fakeouts (82-73): I think I might go 0-4 this week in terms of predictions because it looks like Team Minch, with a big reception day by WR Donald Driver, might be able to pull out an upset this week.  Of course, PFOs haven't had their QB play, and with a huge game from Tony Romo, that could be the missing piece for a win.  I still think that The Philly Fakeouts will ride to a win on the shoulders of Romo.

Team Votto @ Argh! Not The Bees! (145-102): This is the blowout of the week, without a doubt.  Votto's squad was on fire today, not one without a double digit day (except the Head Coach, but that's not possible) so far.  The Bees, on the other hand, were awful with only WR Marques Colston and RB Adrian Peterson putting up decent numbers for the team.  Salvation of a decent day lies in some uncertain hands: WR Terrell Owens and TE Kellen Winslow.  Otherwise, this game is over.  Congrats to Team Votto on a massive win.

2:25pm: Biggest Pussy of the Week Award: WR Chad Ochocinco (Team Votto).  Yeah, he does his leap, but into a group of Cincinnati Bengals fans - not a Lambeau Leap, Chad.  Gotta do it into Packer fans next time.  Good luck.

2:15pm: Ridiculous Fantasy Point Update: Titans RB Chris Johnson has 53 points on the day.  For Donkey Chain 4 Life, that's close to their entire total from last week's match against Team Votto (not really, but thirty points off).

1:55pm:  Halftime in Green Bay, tied 21-21 (awful result, if you ask me).  Lets get some updates on the Fantasy match-ups currently in play.

Donkey Chain 4 Life @ Rob's Team (60-48): Crazy days going on in this match.  Donkey Chain is getting a huge point performance out of Tennessee RB Chris Johnson and a terrible defense one out of the Titans.  TE Chris Cooley is lighting it up in his position for Rob's Team, but surprisingly, it looks like Donkey Chain might have the edge here.

Team Faggy Vampire Kids @ Team Sparkle (32-66): If it wasn't for the Packers Defense, this score could have been really ugly.  The surprise of the day, Team Sparkle, is absolutely on fire, proving that her draft class is consistent thus far.  A stand-out performance by DeSean Jackson, with his 70+ yard TD run, is the real highlight of this match-up.  Team Sparkle might have this all sewn up in a matter of hours.

Team Minch @ The Philly Fakeouts (44-35): A huge surprise in my eyes, as Minch has played PFO very closely thus far today.  Of course, QB Tony Romo hasn't trotted out on the field yet, so we'll see how this match plays out later.  Minch has to be loving the special teams performance by his NE kicker though.  Still, The Philly Fakeouts are probably the favorites still here.

Team Votto @ Argh! Not The Bees! (68-54): A game that should be ironed out after the 12:00 games, but so far Votto has been handling Not The Bees! amply.  A huge game from Tony Gonzalez is helping, but Marques Colston is a 25-point machine on the side of Not The Bees! and if he can keep hooking up with QB Drew Brees, it could be the big performance Bees needs to win this one against a tough Votto team.  I still see a Team Votto slim win here though.

I had to adjust a bunch of picks here after the first two hours or so, but that's the great thing about NFL Football.

Alright, games are back on!

1:10pm: How many flags have been thrown on the Green Bay offense?  Its gotta be heading towards five or six.  Terrible.  And was Rodgers' last year a fluke?  It sure is looking like it.  He's not a scrambling QB, would someone let him know that?  Thanks.

12:26pm: No truer statement has been made:

"Why couldn't DeSean Jackson drop the ball as he crossed the goal line on that 71-yard TD? Mike, you may have had the blowout game of the week right, but picked it the wrong way..."

12:25pm: Come chat with video at the following address: http://tinychat.com/fyclsundaychat

12:15pm: A little talk from Matthew Ruud about the Packers/Bengals match-up (currently 7-0 Bengals):

"Before the games start, just let me take a minute to mention how much I hate Time Warner Cable. Since they won't open up a decent amount of bandwidth, get ready for lots of stuttering and pixelation during today's games. Nevermind the fact that they won't sign a deal with the NFL to carry the NFL Network and Red Zone Channel. I really, really hate monopolies..."

"Finley just dropped a wide open pass - that's why you were cut, a-hole!"

"Awesome! The gun show has come to Green Bay to ref the game today!"

It is a real pain to be a fantasy Football fan with Time Warner Cable.  And all of the receivers let down Rodgers during that drive - no one could get their hands on good passes.

Also, don't mention the gun show to Nick.  He hates that guy.

12:10pm: WR Steve Smith already has as many yards as he had last week.  Good news for Team Votto.

12:00pm: Time for football!  Team Faggy Vampire Kids has made a wise move, putting Percy Harvin in the OP slot.  The owner had this to say:

"The switch was made. I had to put together some bar stools, so I was away from the computer. Yeah, I hope Harvin eats up a lot of PPR, and maybe gets a TD on special teams."

Hey, at least I know something!

11:50am: Nick Votto (Team Votto) and I are going to break down our favorites for the second week of NFL ball!

Carolina @ Atlanta

Michael: I like the Atlanta D' - ATLANTA

Nick: Delhomme has a big comeback game.  Look for Steve Smith! - CAROLINA

Minnesota @ Detroit

Michael: Even though Favre has interception issues at Ford Field, can't stop Purple Jesus - Minnesota

Nick: No brainer, that's it - Minnesota

Cincinnati @ Green Bay

Michael: Two good players for the Bengals (Palmer and Ochocinco) will be broken up by the Pack secondary - Green Bay

Nick: Gonna be a good, high scoring game.  I say that it will come down to Chris Henry - Cincinnati

Houston @ Tennessee

Michael: Again, dominant D' will be the story of this game.  Houston will have to wait for their first win until next week - Tennessee

Nick: Totally agree - Tennessee

Oakland @ Kansas City

Michael: Even though Cassel is back, he will be rusty.  It will be close, but the Raiders will get their first real shot at a victory today - Oakland

Nick: Won't be very close, Raiders will put this one away against the miserable KC defense.  Final score 31-10 - Oakland

New England @ New York Jets

Michael: This will be a great game, and a career-maker for rookie QB Mark Sanchez.  A huge win for the Jets at the Meadowlands - New York Jets

Nick: Mark Sanchez has a career day...for interceptions.  Look out for the Patriots D', and Brady leads the Pats to a much easier victory - New England

New Orleans @ Philadelphia

Michael: Kolb is god-awful from what I've seen, but the D' in Philly is fantastic.  Still, I can't see it stopping the threat of Drew Brees.  New Orleans will squeak out a win - New Orleans

Nick: Kolb v. Brees?  Brees any day of the week and twice on Sunday - New Orleans

St. Louis @ Washington

Michael: I really don't care, but I'm a homer - Washington

Nick: Look for Washington to look like an unbelievable team against the invisible Rams.  St. Louis will be the worst team in the NFL this year - Washington

Arizona @ Jacksonville

Michael: Time for Larry Fitzgerald to shine, a big win for Warner and the Cardinals - Arizona

Nick: It's a 1pm game, on the east coast, look for Warner to have a TERRIBLE day and watch the Jags pull out this game by a decent margin - Jacksonville

Tampa Bay @ Buffalo

Michael: Oh god, who cares...umm...Buffalo? - Buffalo

Nick: Last week's stellar performance from Fred Jackson, will open up a huge opportunity for TO.  Look for the Bills to dominate - Buffalo

Seattle @ San Francisco

Michael: I'll say upset city - San Francisco

Nick: NFC West - go away!  Both teams end up in an epic clash, that ends with the death of both squads, but a win would be awarded to the Seahawks - Seattle

Pittsburgh @ Chicago

Michael: Dominant D' plus Jay Cutler's inability to pass to his own teammates - Pittsburgh

Nick: Chicago sucks, Steelers by a bunch - Pittsburgh

Baltimore @ San Diego

Michael: I liked how Baltimore looked in week one, and San Diego is without LT - Baltimore

Nick: No LT, Flacco leads the Ravens to a win - Baltimore

Cleveland @ Denver

Michael: They extend their win streak to 2, somehow - Denver

Nick: Yeah, Cleveland is terrible.  The Broncos will win, despite Kyle Orton and his mustache - Denver

New York Giants @ Dallas

Michael: Big QB battle, but Manning will prove to Romo why he has a ring and Romo cries himself to sleep every night - New York Giants

Nick: I like Fat Jessica - New York Giants

Indianapolis @ Miami

Michael: Reggie Wayne is going to eat up the Miami secondary - Indianapolis

Nick: Colts by a bundle, Chad Pennington reveals himself to be the terrible QB tht he is - Miami

11:15am: Team Faggy Vampire's best options to replace WR Welker from the bench is probably going to be WR Percy Harvin, as he will most likely have an explosive reception game against the abysmal Lions defense.  Will see, only 45 minutes left to make a switch for Matt Ruud.

11:05am: With QB Matt Cassel listed as the starter in the Chiefs game, as a league we might have to re-evaluate Donkey Chain 4 Life.  A win here in the second week would throw the power rankings into upheaval, and if he works Free Agency like he has the past week with smart moves for WR Manningham, we could see an early Lions-esque team turn into a contender.  Oh how exciting!

10:55am: With that injury, projections sway towards Team Sparkle to take the game today against early favorites Team Faggy Vampire Kids.  Could my called "Biggest Blowout of the Week" turn into the "Match of the Week"?  I think it is entirely possible.

Also wanted to address some comments left by Matthew Ruud on the comments below:

"Yeah, I kind of wondered why you were projecting that FVK would blow out Team Sparkle... Since Ray Rice is clearly the feature back in Baltimore and Dustin Keller is Sanchez's safety valve, Sparkle stole two top level performers very late in the draft. Her team didn't look too hot on draft day, but most of her "taking a chance" players have turned out so far, unlike my stupid choices of Mendenhall and Finley... I'll check back in later with some commentary too, but I don't think I can talk too much smack about my match-up. I will, however, insult other owners who drafted busts waaaay too high - I'm looking at you LT and Willie Parker."

I will have to say that my rustiness at sports commentary is showing: what a terrible pick for blowout of the week.  I thought that Team Sparkle's roster was about as risky and streaky of any in the FYCL, but I have to say that the match will be a lot closer than I originally believed.

"One other thing: I don't know if you saw this, but some dude on ESPN was talking about the possibility of Purple Jesus rushing for 3,000 yards this year. Too bad for NTB, the rest of his team will let him down..."

I (Argh! Not The Bees!) can only hope he stays healthy because I have a very thin roster that needs to have season-long performances from three or four big players.  If that happens, my team will be potentially unstoppable.  (Just kidding, I'm hoping to squeak out a winning record.)

10:45am: Good news for Team Sparkle, as WR Wes Welker (Team Faggy Vampire Kids) is officially OUT in the Patriots game versus the New York Jets.  That match-up just got real interesting, could Team Sparkle pull out an early season upset and prove me wrong?  All those things are possible.

10:43am: Just arrived at the parental units house to do some live blogging this Sunday.  A couple of notes: RB Pierre Thomas (Donkey Chain 4 Life) will be playing in the Saints game, but I expect him to get less touches on the ball or have his time split between other backs.  For right now, Omar's Donkey Chain 4 Life is starting WR Mario Manningham in his place, from what I gather.

9:50am: RB LaDainian Tomlinson (Team Minch) is out for the day, as is QB Donovan McNabb (Argh! Not The Bees!).  Those two big names should affect each team's owner, but the loss is probably felt most by Team Minch.  He's trending to have real trouble against Justin Ferrari's Philly Fakeouts and I'm starting to think my prediction of a Team Sparkle blowout was ill-advised.  Can I make a switch for that prediction?